Mackinac Memorial Bridge Run

This is the first race I've run since October 2012 when I shotgunned a half-marathon. Prior to that it was a 5k walk in the Fifth Third River Bank Run in May 2012.

I run but I'm not a runner.

I can say that with confidence because the only time I find satisfaction or enjoyment in running is when I have a "Start" and "Finish" line involved.
This race had me a little worried; not because I doubted I could finish it, but because there was a stipulation of keeping a 12-minute mile for five miles.

The cool and dry weather was perfect for running; I had no complaints as I was starting the race. I glanced at my Garmin and saw I was at a 10:30 pace. Sweet! I can do this!

Then I started along the incline of the bridge which I hadn't taken into consideration when Keith and I discussed doing this event two days ago. You never think a small incline spread over two miles would feel like much to tackle but let me tell you it's a straight burn in the quads for the entire two miles. As I glanced at my Garmin again about .3 miles into the run I was at 11:06. Then 11:15. Then 11:40. Then 12:10. Then 12:37. Then 13:00 and 13:25.

I was chugging along at a ridiculous 13:25 pace when I had set my goal at 12:00 to 12:30. I was waiting for the pace police to come along and kick my ass or hand me a red card and escort me off the bridge.Not even a mile into this thing and I was failing.

Luckily no one was around to check my pace and there were plenty of people behind me as this was a wave start; people in front and people in the back. I was quickly falling to the back of the back.

I kept looking off to the sides of the bridge and hearing Keith's last words "just enjoy it", which he said as I sent him ahead at the onset of the race so he could enjoy his comfortable 8-8:30 pace.

I took in all the sights around me so I could calm my anxieties of sucking and finishing dead last. I stared out at the water that didn't seem to have an end and took note of the gigantic bridge I was crawling across and listened to the cars and trucks whizzing by and watched the expansion grates slip under my feet as I shuffled across. The fresh air in my face with the sunrise over my left shoulder wasn't too bad, either.  The "F it" side of me was indeed enjoying the experience. The "you have got to be excellent at everything you do" side of me was not allowing me to suck at this event. When I realized that I was getting fatigued at 1.8 miles in and was running way behind what I had set as a goal I wanted to quit. I wanted to stop the whole thing and just ask someone to drive me to the free breakfast held at the Finish line. I argued with myself mentally for a short while and allowed myself to walk a bit. Try again. Take another breath. Soak up the fresh air and keep going. Who cares? You're moving. You're burning calories just by moving (which is great because you're going to eat your weight in fudge later today). I have to talk to myself and weigh out the pros and cons of continuing when it hurts versus quitting because it would feel better.

The Pros to Running:
-Lose weight
-Have more energy to play with the kids
-Set a good example for the kids to follow
-Have a runner's high throughout the day
-Look good in summer attire
-Feel better about myself

The Cons to Running:
-I don't want to run

So, with that mental list going through my head I had no reason to stop. My legs were still moving and I was feeling less defeated. The center of the bridge, which I was so eagerly looking forward to so the pain of the incline would subside, was nearing. I kept a close eye on my Garmin for the entire race and as soon as that downhill kicked in my time started improving. At 3.5 miles my legs finally warmed up and it didn't feel like I was hauling dead weight anymore. Slowly my pace went back into the 13:00's, 12:50's and then 12:40's which is where I lingered until the end of the bridge. I had about a quarter mile to go when Keith joined me on the course. He'd already finished and made his way back to run me in <3

I don't like the thought of being the slow, chubby wife to the lean and swift runner. I don't like partaking in a hobby he excels in when I know I'll always pale in comparison. I shouldn't compare or compete but I can't help it; everything is a competition to me. I love it when he joins me at the end of events, though. He tells me what to expect just before the Finish line and his presence gives me the confidence I need to pick up my pace. The last time I looked at my Garmin it read 10:37 for my lap pace and I finished with a 12:38 pace overall.

12:38 is nothing to be proud of but I had a goal of 12:00-12:30 for this event so I was OK with it. I didn't train. I haven't run in eight months. In fact, when I broke down the numbers I was at the same pace I ran the 10k in two years ago which I actually trained for. I'll never understand how my legs work. Train or don't train and get the same outcome. Gah.


I'm still weighing the Pros and Cons as I lay down tonight and I'm thinking of running on a regular basis only to set a good example for my kids (and to look good in my summer attire...)